WOMEN EMPOWERMENT: How can we empower each other?

Aggie Strong's blog post title: Women Empowerment: How can we empower ourselves and each other?

The other day I was asked to give a talk on women empowerment to a bunch of ladies at a brunch, so I have decided to share it in its entirety. Here we go!

Today I will be talking about women empowerment and how we can help to empower ourselves and each other using what I call The 8 A’s of Empowerment, being:

Aggie Strong's 8-A pyramid of empowerment

Awareness
Acceptance
Assertiveness
Affirmations
Accountability
Ability
Association
Actualization

For me, women empowerment involves developing a greater sense of confidence, courage and well-being in our own individual capacity. I strongly believe that by increasing your own personal, spiritual, social, political, physical, mental, emotional and economic strength you raise that of others. It is also about females supporting each other and bonding together. And, it is about each and every woman living and reaching for their fullest potential in life and career.

But what does that look like?

Luckily for us in Canada and the western world, our problem is minuscule compared to other parts of the world where women are still fighting for the things we now take for granted—things such as democracy matters of marriage and the right for girls to go to school. So let's look at these 8-A’s on how we can empower ourselves and others.

Awareness

Awareness is the foundation of empowerment.
Studies show that women who are self-aware feel more empowered than those who aren’t in touch with their reality.
So, how can we be more aware of ourselves and our environment?
Aristotle believes the answer lies in our habit—We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act, but a habit.
So, the only way to become more aware is through introspection.
Introspection helps us understand who we are, our habits and what makes us tick.
If most of us were to see ourselves the way others see us, we would be shocked! The thing is, when we refuse to accept negative feedback, we disempower ourselves.

For example, the other day I decided to delve deeper into my own awareness. I sent my peers this tool called the Johari Window for their feedback. Some did it, some didn’t. As I started to get the responses back I found myself getting annoyed at first at some of the responses. After all, the truth hurts, right?... But it is imperative to self-improvement leading to self-empowerment. In fact, any feedback given solely to make you feel better only serves to disempower you; by increasing the gap between your false self and your actual self, says some psychologists. But I digress… As I began to do my own introspection and had a conversation with a member of my household to get some clarity, I started to see why this person would say that. I realized that my strong sense of intuition, feeling and perceiving and abilities were being misunderstood for me being insecure. Something I would never consider myself as being. The morale of the story is that doing this exercise led me to be more mindful of my attitude and how I come off to others. I also realized that people who are less self-aware will see things differently than those who are more self-aware. (Do your own.)

Awareness helps us to check ourselves and adapt to life challenges.
The more you know and understand about yourself: your personality, your character, your values, your goals, your beliefs, your strengths and weaknesses, your needs, your emotion, your desires and motivation, the closer you will get to being empowered.
It awakens our consciousness.
The empowered woman takes time out to assess and re-assess herself and her environment on a regular basis to ensure that they are in alignment with her goals and direction in life.
Being aware allows you to better understand others and how they perceive you and your attitude towards them.
Knowing yourself is half the battle. As the saying goes, knowledge is power.

Acceptance

The key to acceptance is emotional intelligence.
The empowered woman is compassionate towards herself and others.
She has the capacity to be aware of, understand and empathize with others.
She accepts and appreciates growth and/or change in herself and others.
As Daniel Goleman, the author of Emotional Intelligence puts it, it is how you manage yourself and your relationships.
Oprah says it is your ability to feel what other people are feeling

For example, I watch this reality show on E! called WAGS. One of the characters, Barbie was getting married and invited Nicole to go with her to her wedding gown fitting. Nicole who's obsessed with getting married decided to steal Barbie's shine and try on a gown herself. Secondly, Nicole basically told Barbie that she is hoping that her boyfriend proposes to her at her wedding in Mexico. When the girls sat down to talk about it, Nicole being oblivious to her behavior and others feelings, defended her position saying she would not have cared if it were the other way around. Her lack of self-awareness and acceptance for Barbie's values and views almost destroyed their friendship. She made everything awkward to the point of starting to push away her boyfriend.

The empowered woman understands that our values affect our perception and creates assumptions, ambiguities, and biases.
She values social justice and diversity.
The empowered woman accepts herself and glorifies her image.
She ignores stigmas and has conquered ostracism and marginalization.

Assertiveness

Being assertive is the most powerful communication tool you can possess.
It involves speaking up and letting others know how you feel.
It eliminates the need to gossip and backstab each other. Something that is way too prevalent amongst women. Such behavior is disempowering and needs to stop if we are to collectively achieve female empowerment.
Assertiveness enables you to relate to others in an upfront and sincere way.
The empowered woman asserts her rights and uses her voice.
She says what she means and means what she says.
She makes her own decisions, knows when to say no and expresses herself in a non-judgmental and non-threatening way.
She is collaborative, yet courageous and confident.

Affirmations

The empowered woman understands that to be empowered, she must feel great about herself.
Her goal is positive thinking and feels good psyche.
To achieve this, she uses only positive statements about herself and others on a daily basis.
She seeks out inspiration and direction.
Here is a list of affirmations you may incorporate.

Accountability

The empowered woman takes full responsibility for her actions. She does not seek to blame or avoids responsibility.
She owns her faults and her flaws.
She is controlled by her conscience and driven by discipline and determination.

Ability

The empowered woman has the ability to do whatever she wants.
She is an avid learner who continuously seeks to learn new skills and improves herself personally and professionally.
She knows what revs her economic engine and sets goals for growth and prosperity.
She develops her unique strengths and core competencies.
The empowered woman is capable and able.

Association

The law of attraction dictates that like attracts like.
If you are disempowered you will seek ou and hang out with disempowered people, if you are empowered you will seek out and hang out with empowered people. Mind you, everyone is empowered in their own right.
According to Jim Rohn — "You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with."
The empowered woman understands this and seeks to elevate herself vicariously through her association.
In Jamaica, we say, "show me your company and I will tell you whom you are".
The empowered woman seeks to attract the right people in your life by her association.

Actualization

Abraham Maslow is quoted as saying, “What a man can be, he must be.”
The empowered woman seeks her true path and pursues her passion.
She lives at the pinnacle of her life. She exudes grace and grit.
She embraces the unknown and looks forward to the journey.
She is on a mission to a make a difference in life; not to be different.
Her purpose is outside of herself.
Her motto is meaning, integrity and contribution.
She does not seek to compete but to uplift.
She is self-motivated and driven to achieve her highest potential.
Maslow hierarchy of needs suggests that one can only achieve actualization when all of her (or his) lower needs are met—basic/physiological, safety and security, love and belonging, and esteem.
When you are no longer living from a mindset scarcity or in survival mode you will realize that there is so much more to life than the tangible aspects of it. You will no longer be concerned with personal safety and ego but for the betterment of mankind.
You will seek and support self-empowerment without the need of competition, fear or judgment. Only then you will actually be transformed from surviving to thriving and start living as the empowered woman that you are.
Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King Jr., Viktor Frankl, Nelson Mandela and Malala Yousafzai, to name a few, are great examples of people who personifies self-actualization. They compromised their own lives for the greater good of others. They understood the meaning of life and made the ultimate sacrifice for us. Mind you, you don't have to be like these people to actualized.

Maslow's hierarchy of needs

When what you do become more important than how much you make, or the recognition or the distinguished awards, you are actualized.

When you start living below your means, not because you have to, but because you want to, you are actualized.

When you become happy with less instead of keep striving for more, you are actualized.

When you take a pay cut to pursue your passion, you are actualized.

In conclusion, women empowerment is ultimately the female's capacity to support and uplift herself and others. It is a shared responsibility. It is the law of reciprocity. The only way to fully achieve it is through living the eight A’s on a daily basis: awareness, acceptance, assertiveness, affirmations, accountability, ability, association and actualization.

“Don’t aim for success. The more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue.” – Viktor Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning.

Let’s empower each other because I want you to more than just survive. I want you to thieve! (The theme of this year's event.)

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Andrene Gregory is a life coach with certification in LifeSkills training and Personality Dimensions. She helps empower adults to live a strength-based life, regain their confidence and find the courage to get through life's challenging situations. Her unique approach to getting desired results includes personality assessment, self-knowledge, goal setting, and action planning.

Andrene provides one-on-one coaching and group workshops. Find out more at www.aggiestrongulc.com.

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