Disclaimer: I am not a happy girl. Never has been nor will I ever be. There, I said it. Speak the truth and the truth shall set you free. I know myself and I am perfectly fine being who I am.
Phew! Now that that is out of the way, I don't have to pretend to be something I am not. Let me explain why I make such a strong and seemingly negative statement about myself.
In my experience, most "happy people" behave in mean-spirited ways and go around throwing out labels such as happy, negative, positive, pessimist and optimist. I swear, I am going to find a way to replace such seemingly harmless yet demeaning and derogatory terms for describing people. Like Margaret Thatcher once said: Power is like being a lady, if you have to tell people you are, you aren't. So if you have to act like you are happy, positive or optimistic, are you really?
My philosophy is that people should never let them selves look good or feel better at the expense of another. You don't have to cut someone down to make your self look good. In doing so, you are only fooling yourself and those just like you. Any sensible, smart and perceptive person can see right through your phony. So, if being happy means looking down on other people that aren't just like me, then I am fine with being a bore. Based on my observation, happy people are just mean people who will do and say nay thing to make themselves feel better.
And, it is not that being happy in and by itself is such a bad thing; it is just that the term is so overused, over-rated and misconceived. You see, too many people equate being sensible, realistic, sincere, level-headed, compassionate and focused with being boring, sad, or grumpy. Its like we are taking integers or numbers and not people each time I hear the term positive and negative.
Anyhow, here I go, three reasons why happiness is over-rated and why I am not a happy girl.
I am a Virgo
Virgos are generally though of as being melancholic due to an excess of black bile in their system once believed to cause depression. But I am neither sad nor depressed. I am just pensive—a deep thinker who likes to relish in her thoughts rather than spending her time in idle gossip and small talks. Nothing wrong with me...just being me. It also has everything to do with timing. The way the stars are aligned at your conception to birth can affect your mannerism, disposition or your look. I don’t know if you believe in the constellations, but I do. It has been proven right for me every time. If it is not working for you, maybe you are not a true sign. You may need to reassess your sign, or you may rule under a contrasting planet. Virgo is said to be the mother of all the earth. What does a mother do best? She worries about her children. Since I am a Virgo—mother earth, I have a natural tendency to be concerned a lot about everybody else’s happiness and the well being of all the children of the earth—you all. Making sure that everyone is doing well is my source of contentment.
Virgos are also characteristically meticulous and are often the greatest perfectionist you may ever come across. So how your gonna be happy when you are constantly concerned about everybody else and everything being perfect and right and correct and orderly? As a Virgo, I have all these wonderful qualities, so naturally I tend to expect a little more from others than they expect from themselves. This is not necessarily a bad thing. It’s just that some people do not expect as much from themselves and may feel pressured when called out on their untapped potential. Because of this, Virgos get a bad rap for being pushy, demanding and critical. Not true. We just want the best for the people we care about. The very best for you!! Just a natural, nurturing, concerned mother tendency thing. So, instead of thinking of us as being miserable, start thinking of us caring.
Also, as a Virgo, I am content to be alone. Most virgos enjoy spending time by themselves. We need that time for self-reflection and to nuture our pensive side. Although I don’t need a lot of people around to feel “happy”, I am not unsociable either. I just prefer quieter more focused interactions or structured simulations. My “happiness” comes from within and in the from my services and compassion towards others—what I can do to help and be appreciated for—what I can do to make somebody’s life easier. Another reason I am not happy is that I find futile venting and idle chit-chat, the kind that most "happy" people likes to mull over draining. For me, it’s “do something about it already and get over it”. Take a step forward to solve the problem. Progress is progress, no matter how small. I hate wasting time mulling over stuff we can easily fix and be done with. For more information on Virgos, here is an excellent site about true Virgo: http://blog.californiapsychics.com/blog/2011/09/understand-the-virgo.html Also, check out these celebrities ruled under the sign: http://fuckyeahvirgos.tumblr.com/ pardon the expression.
I am a Christian
Yeah, that's right! I said it again. I am not happy because I am a Christian. Contrary to popular beliefs, right? Let me explain. As a Christian, I am not happy because I am not of the things of this world. At least not the way most other people are. Sure I want to be prosperous and have enough money to do the things I enjoy and be successful. And sure those are earthly things, but they only give temporary earthly happiness. And I am not about to delude myself and blab that money does not buy happiness like most people do. I am willing to accept the fact that money does indeed buy the kind of happiness that comes to mind when people think about earthly happiness. There is no other unit on the face of this earth that alludes to the kind of happiness that having sufficient funds gives; but nonetheless, bring on more stress, contemptuousness and strife than anything else.
As a Christian, I am not a happy person, because I live in a broken world and I cannot fix it. And if you know me by now, you would know that motto is to fix, repair, enhance until it is perfect. Yes, perfect. The bible tells us in Matthew 5:48 that we should be perfect. I am not happy because I am surrounded by debased people everywhere I turn.
Romans 1:28-32
28 And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done. 29 They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, 30 slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, 31 foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless. 32 Though they know God's righteous decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them.
My heart sees what my hands cannot fix and it burdens me as a child of God filled with compassion and hope for humanity. As a discerning child of God, I tend to see more of the pain and troubles in the world than the average person does. Who would rather cast a blind eye, hardened their hearts and turn backs. They are happy to go on living their simple, nonchalant and apathetic life. No, not I. I see everything, I feel everything, and I care about everything.
My Nature
By nature, I am a kind, caring, and compassionate person. I love to help people—if and when I can. It gives me pleasure to do so. So it is not surprising that I would be bothered by selfishness. You see, most “happy” people tend to be selfish people. It is all about them. Me. Me. Me. Me. What they want. What they care about. Why do I say that? Because it is true. To prove my theory:
A new study from Michigan State University claims that selfishness will eventually disappear as a personality trait and believe evolution favours cooperation. Although selfishness offers short-term gains, selfish people will eventually be phased out because they will be outmaneuvered by competitors who cooperate to achieve shared goals. The said article also shared this tidbit of information:
Selfish people will use you and then abuse you all in the name of “happiness”. Then to add insult to injury, they expect you to be "happy" about it. And if you are not, you become the biggest complainer and the most miserable person on the face of the earth. Well, fine. So be it. As long as I know who I am, I am good. I am not happy, and you are. Know thyself and accept thyself.
When I was growing up, sharing was my middle name, but I have learnt some hard, tough lessons in life, and though I enjoy giving and sharing, I refused to be taken advantage of. I also never want to be a selfish person, but I will think twice about giving to those who only want to take. Being taken for granted is my greatest pet peeve, next to incompetency and rude and mean spiritedness; and have no qualms letting you know when you have overstepped. So I guess that makes me unhappy. In life, there are limits and boundaries. Know yours and establish them right off the bat.
In conclusion, 'being happy is not a measure of the veracity of an idea or state of being, but rather a delusional preferred mental state due to its increased “non-cognitive factor”'. So-called "Happy" people, in my humble opinion—based on my observations—are those mostly associated with bad behaviours, such as, rudeness, vulgarity, drunkenness, looting, drugs and wild sex. They have absolutely no consideration for others or their feelings. So long as they are” happy”, that’s all that matters. My own definition of Happiness is "A blatant disregard for other people's feelings. It is short lived, frivolous and superficial" Contentment or joy on the other hand, is deep rooted and substantive with more permanence. A lot of people tell themselves that they are happy and that anyone not acting like them or like their normal self aren't happy people and only wants to rain on their parade.
That being said, I choose not to describe myself as being "happy" but rather words such as joyful, elated, and content. I do not profess either to be better than anyone else—just different—that’s all. I sin just like anyone else and I have tons of flaws, but I am not a happy person. Mind you, not because a person is not walking around acting all bat shit crazy or with a smile on your face doesn't mean they are not pleasantly pleased or content—maybe they just don't wear it on their face.
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