Be Your Own Hero!

When I look back on my own life, there have been many times when I felt like giving up, there have been many times I have given up and there are times when I hang on tight for dear life. What do you think made the difference in actually giving up, just thinking about giving up and hanging on? In all these instances, I have learned that there are somethings worth fighting for and some things are just a waste of time and energy. Knowing the difference will make the difference because you are going to have to pick your battles.

Sometimes some things are not meant to be—lay them to rest. If you pursue them they will take you out of alignment with your values and what you really want. You will lose your own way. Sometimes you didn't really want it in the first place—it might have been someone else's desire for you so there is no point fighting for it. Other times it might have been red eye—you see someone else doing it so you think you can do it too—you are competitive (or run against) in nature. Sometimes you just want to test your luck or you just thought it might be cool to do it—other than that, there were no real incentive or motive.

Being your own hero means living with purpose, conviction, and integrity. You can't fight for something you don't want and if you, in fact, want something, you have to be willing to fight for it—be it a better life, a better career or a better relationship. It means helping yourself grow and move forward despite obstacles. Everyone of us has felt like giving up at some point in our lives. Even Jesus did. When the pain was too great to bear, he begged his father to stop the process. He said,"Father If it is possible take this cup from me." In essence, he was saying I don't want to do this anymore, this is harder than I thought. But at some point, you are ging to have to realize that giving up is not an option. When push come to shove you are going to have to go through with what you've started.

So how do you champion through and be that hero when it would be so much easier to quit? First by acknowledging and accepting that it is ok to want to give up. Then realizing that there are things you can do to stand your ground. Because chances are, if you want change in your life career or relationships you are going to have to change them yourself! Here are four things to help you hang in there and be your own hero: Who are you? What do you want? What do you stand for? What's your bottom line?

WHO ARE YOU?

So you want to be your own hero? I assume the answer is YES! Otherwise, why are you reading this? In order to be your own hero, you have to know yourself. Self-awareness is the essence of heroism. What are your strengths and your weaknesses? What are your super powers? Knowing what they are will help you to stay focus on your strengths instead of your weakness. So identify your unique strengths and develop them so that you are always prepared. Know your weaknesses. What is your kryptonite? Establish the best workaround so you can defeat the enemy. When you know yourself you are confident in your capabilities. You always look on the bright side of things.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

Every hero must know their end goal. What do you want to achieve at the end of your battle? Set realistic goals based on your strengths and your values and independent of others. Goals that are dependent on others are just aspirations—they may or may not come to fruition. Ask yourself what is really important to you and focus on achieving just that. At the end of the day, your desire will drive your determination. Why are you doing everything that you do? Your goal should be ecological. Meaning, it ties into all aspects of your life. Yes, you may have to do other things in the meantime to get you from where you are to where you want to be, but don't get distracted by them. Know why you are doing what and stay true to that. Think about your goal constantly and let it drive you. Motivation is the key to success. Follow through with the objectives you set for yourself and treat yourself when you have small wins. Keep the faith and seek out inspirations. Imagine success and you'll have success.

WHAT DO YOU STAND FOR?

There is a popular saying: people who don't stand for something will fall for anything. So what do you stand for? What are your moral values and civic duties? If you are the type of person who is afraid of hurting people's feelings, avoid confrontations and back down from a challenge, you will have to develop courage and confidence. The more assertive you become, the more those muscles will develop. Identify the things that you strongly disagree with and challenge yourself to do or say something about it whenever you notice them; using I statement and WIN statements. For example: I feel... when you.... or When you x, I feel x, I need you to x. These statements are more assertive rather than aggressive or passive and help you to communicate clearly what you stand for without blaming or pointing fingers. Don't be a pushover. Stand up for yourself (and others). Two heads are better than one. It may cost you something is the process, but knowing your true values and goals will make all the difference. In the end, it is really worth staying in a deplorable and demeaning situation?

WHAT IS YOUR BOTTOM LINE?

Knowing your bottom line is probably the most important aspects of being your own hero. Discipline yourself in all areas of your life. To be a hero you must have integrity. Be willing to delay your gratification for a greater purpose. Say only what you mean and mean what you say. Heroes don't make false promises and they can control their emotions. You can't freak out over every little thing. You have to set boundaries. Know what is the least and the most you will put up with. Where are you willing to draw the line? What are your top, say, three priorities? Write them down and become familiar with them. Manage your time and your emotions wisely. Know who your supporters are and what you can expect from them so you are not wasting time and energy with the wrong people. Understanding the ebb and flow of your life will help you to keep the momentum and stay on track.


In summary, to be your own hero, you have to model the behavior you expect from others. Do you and be you. Being a positive example is the best way to be your own hero. Believe in your dreams...Believe in you...Don't give up! Give yourself permission to do it. Being your own hero doesn't mean putting yourself at risk. Assess the situation carefully, proceed with caution and call for help and/or backup if need be. You want to be your own hero, not a fool.

"A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles." —Christopher Reeve

Be strong! Keep smiling. Know what you are fighting for. Unleash the hero in you.

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Andrene Gregory is a life coach with certification in Life Skills training and Personality Dimensions®.

She helps adults who are committed to change live a healthy balanced life, regain their confidence and find clarity to get through life's challenging situations. Her unique approach to getting desired results includes self-awareness, stress management, goal setting, and action planning.

Andrene provides one-on-one coaching and group workshops. Find out more at www.aggiestrongulc.com.