Dear Black People,
What I am about to say may sound controversial to some, but this is a subject that I am passionate about.
It behooves me to speak to the plentitude of posts and podcasts going against the strong Black woman and resilient narratives as stigmatizing to the Black woman in particular. I am a Black woman who considers herself strong and resilient. I teach my daughters to be strong and resilient. I teach my clients to be strong and resilient, and I am proud to say it. I will remain strong in the Lord.
I get that they are trying to decolonize certain stereotypical behaviour that continues to permeate society, but what does being strong have to do with decolonization? Our strength is like our blackness. It is what sets us apart. If Black women were not strong, there would be nothing left to decolonize—we would be extinct.
My strength is in my weaknesses. So don’t apologize for calling me strong. Change degrading behaviour, and that will be enough for me. Your apology means nothing if your behaviour persists.
Too many people are living in a confused, cancel culture. They no longer understand what it means to be strong —that only the strong can thrive.
In a time when mentalillnesses and disorders are rampant in our society, we do not need people touting in our ears that being strong is a negative attribute and should not be desired and cultivated. We need resilient people who can bounce back from the perils of life. We need strong people to counteract the hardship and not fall prey to suicide or harm others. We need to cancel the cancel culture.
I refuse to fall prey to this cancel culture that will go as far as to twist the Black woman's mind into thinking that her strength is a problem and steal her strength from her. They want you to believe that your strength is why they ill-treat you—because you can take it. That is nonsense! The term for that is blaming the victim or reverse psychology—the ultimate gaslighting. The worst part is many Black folks are setting themselves on fire.
Remember, they tried that with our beauty. They told us our full lips and high cheekbones were ugly, and then they injected themselves with poison to look like us. They told us our big booty was nasty, and then they got surgery to achieve it. They told us our dark complexion was undesirable then they went to the tanning salon to look like us. Black people, don't be fooled.
Strong is not the opposite of softness nor not deserving of kindness and fair treatment; ugliness is. Meanness is. Weakness is. Strong is compassionate, courageous, kind and beautiful.
Our strength keeps us standing despite the dire, dehumanizing and systemic oppression we are expected to perform in. Without my strength, I don’t know where I might be. They can decolonize all they want but they cannot take our strength from us. A black woman's strength is her superpower, her gift from God.
I warn all Black women who wish to throw it back into God’s face to be careful what they wish for.
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