These days it is so easy to get caught up with social media frenzy and hype and just the general perception that other people might be doing better than you. But what can you do to cure this insidious bug? You need tools to fight off these symptoms like a doctor needs flu shots in his medicine bag.
It's easy get bombed out and frustrated with the people in your life who don't support you the way you think they should, or how you would like them to, or hope that they would—on and/or off social media. When this happens, it is so easy to say or even "Cut them out of your life". After all "they don't add value" to you, right? I have to admit I have been guilty of this myself. But I have forgiven myself for those foolish and sometimes irrational behaviours. We are all a work in progress, remember {smile}.
With much reflection and resolution, I have learned that the best thing to do during these times is to harness ourselves with these four tools at all times:
- Understanding,
- Compassion,
- Love, and
- Caring.
Not having these four tools in our toolbox, the heart, will cause you to shrink instead of grow.
Understanding:
Be patient with the people in your life and understand that they might be frightened of our growth and/or success. They might be scared that you are leaving them behind and they are not ready or prepared to lose you to your imminent success. They may be even be a little jealous, or envious, even insecure. Trying to understand where they are coming from could help you cope with the situation. From this standpoint, you can temper your own emotion and grow instead of shrinking to their conscious or subconscious attempts to break you or hold you back from your blessing—Growth and prosperity. Simply start expecting less from people. Understand that not everyone is going to support you. Don't allow others actions or the lack thereof, in some cases, to steal your joy and/or rob your growth. Instead stand a little taller, shine a little brighter, and most importantly, try to understand a little harder.Compassion:
With compassion in your tool box, you can fix any threat that you are faced with. Most of the time people behave badly because they are going through their own personal trials and tribulations that yours eyes have not seen nor your ears have not yet heard.Check in with your network often. Find out if everything is OK. See if there is anything you can do or say to help. Lot of times, just lending a listening ears is all it takes for some one to feel better. Remember the law of reciprocity: Do unto others as you would like them do unto you. This will also take the pressure off how you are feeling.
People lose jobs, get sick, or experience family/relationship breakdowns. Your success or seemingly success or imminent one can be viewed as another reminder that things are not going so well for them. This may cause them to subconsciously lash out: ignoring you or your posts, pretending you don't exist in an effort to shut you down and so forth. This is why exercising compassion for them is so important. Sometimes they really don't know any better. People who know better, do better. Be mindful of their insecurities and their personal challenges.
Love:
Considering that some people are held captive to their jealousy, show them love and hope that they get emancipated from their mental captivity. You are too blessed, to be stressed. Remember, you have nothing to prove to anyone—just be yourself!Attend to your own need for love and support and focus on the people who are filling this need for you. Be patient and kind to yourself. Keep the faith. In time some people will come around. But, should they decide NOT to come around and soften up to you, MOVE ON. Let it go and FORGIVE them. Somethings are just not meant to be. Do not be a doormat for anyone. Walk away from anything that no longer serves you. Some people do't even love themselves, so love them and leave them. The best thing that you can do for yourself is to practice self love.
Remember, don't let the good suffer for the bad. Love those who love you and appreciate them. Keep on doing your thing and remember that your true friends and loving family members will always have your back and support your growth no matter what, on or off air.
Remember it takes a lot of strength and courage to love those who hate and persecute you. Be Strong and confident.
Caring:
The best way to get people to care for you and who you will care about is to build your global community. When you genuinely care about people, they will care about you. Don't assume things about them, you ask and you will generally receive. So, ask them for their help, don't assume they'll give it. Take pride in what you do and show people that you care about what you do. Often times the very things that you are accusing and/or condemning others of, you are just as guilty of.Take care of how you put yourself out there, so to speak. Vulnerability is a good thing, but be careful of the preys. Take care of yourself and health. The biggest reason for mental breakdown, is people pretending they don't care. Let people know that you do mind. The more you pretend not to care, the people people pretend not to care either. So try to be open and sincere in your interactions with others. Touch base with the people whose thoughts and opinions you care about and ask for their feedback. Don't get mad, get hyped. Solicit their opinion on matters you care about and use them to build yourself up. Successful people do what unsuccessful refuse to do. Let them know that what matters to you.
So, you say you don't care...
- Then why are you so upset them?
- Why are you cutting people off?
- And why are you ranting about it?
I'll tell you. Because those are all tell tale signs that you care and you should care. You are hurt and disappointed that your joy does not transcend to to peers. That instead of being happy for you, they think you are a show off. You are mad/sad because you are not being validated by the people you thought would validate you. You didn't work this hard for it to go unnoticed. You put in the work because you care and you expect others to care. That's ok. You are human. You cannot help it. Its okay to be human—humans care—they have feeling. You don't have to be ashamed or embarrassed to let others know that you care. It is sexy. It's called confidence.
Some people say, don't let social media determine your self worth. They may even ridicule you or say you have low self-esteem for caring. Let me tell you, the only people you shouldn't let determine your self-worth are assholes. Those people who go out of their way to make you feel pain—to belittle you. Evaluate the people in your life often and check their motives. Stay open and receptive to the ones who do care and are showing you their love and support. Bottom-line—you do care and you should stay caring. People who care, excel.
In summary,
Whatever you do, take nothing and no one for granted. You never know what wars are going on beneath the skin—deep down in the souls. Understand that there are a lot of jealous people out there wishing you would fail. Misery loves company. Have compassion for them for they know not what they do. Dare to be vulnerable and look and feel stupid. Your growth depends on it! Be BOLD! Ask for what you want—don't assume people will give you. When it comes to social media, lean towards self-expression, not self-promotion. |
| google image: pink animated shrinking girl |
Until next time,
This is AggieStrong!
Be Blessed. Be Bold. Be Strong. Be YOU!!
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