Six Things To Do To Get People To Instantly Like You

Some people are going to like you and some people aren’t, that’s just a part of life.  They may have very strong and valid reasons not to and then they may not have any apparent reason at all.  Given the facts of life, we must then set ourselves up to be more in favor of being liked than not liked.  I know a lot of you will say I don’t care if people like me or not, but the fact is you do, whether or not you want to admit it.  It is a God given right to be liked, so why wouldn’t you care? Unless; of course, you don’t believe in God—which is a completely different story.  So for those of you who do care, and those who don’t want to admit it, I want you to pay close attention to what I have to say.  Here we go:

Self-Esteem:

Self-esteem is a fancy phrase but it literally means self love and care.  Which is often the first place a person goes wrong when it comes to being liked by others. They think it does not matter…well, if people don’t like me for whom I am…and if people cant accept me for…and if people can’t this and if people can’t that…   But hold up, hold up, a second here, let’s remember who is the subject here, ME! (or you).  It’s about getting people to like you. I am not saying you have to turn into a narcissist (a self obsessed freak). I am simply saying put some effort into loving you and taking care of you. At least if people don’t like you, you can easily rule out any doubt you may have concerning yourself.  When you love yourself it translates to others.  It subliminally tells people that you are worthy of their love and appreciation. And what exactly does that mean, you may ask?  It means taking good care of yourself by routinely doing the following:

• Take regular shower or bath (add a little Epsom or dead sea salt to water)
• Use deodorant or some form of odor/sweat repellant
• Wearing clean fresh clothes to work, school, or functions
• Wearing clean fresh Socks
• Brushing and flossing your teeth twice a day and using a mouth rinse
• Clean, well groomed hair
• Getting plenty of rest, and
• Drinking lots of water 

Poor hygiene, body odor, and bad breath are among the number one reason people get instantly turned-off.  For some reason they put people instantly in a bad mood around you. This also goes for home as well—if your family members have been giving you a hard time, check yourself—family are people too.  For greater chance of likability, nip BO and BB in the bud and watch the transformation take place.

Time Management:

Arrive on time or better yet, show up early. It does something to you and for others that is unexplainable.  People acquire a certain kind of respect and appreciation for you when they can rely on you to be on time. Nothing sets your day or mood off to a bad start like showing up late or barely making it.  By the time you get to where you are supposed to be you are already mad, frustrated and stressed out. When you are late, you arrive frazzled—Pissed-off and mad at yourself or the world for that matter. Right off the bat, people can sense your tension, so they get tense too unbeknowingly.  Before you know it, you start thinking that they don’t like you.  Wrong!  What we have here is a vicious cycle of lashing out and pinning the tail on the donkey, so to speak.  Nobody is sure why they are mad, or who likes whom, or what the crap is going on.  There is just tension.  And, all because you were late, or late again.  That, my dear friend, is the culprit! Also, did you know that tension and stress give off an offensive odor and causes bad breath?  Well, they do.  So you better stay calm and composed. Next time someone around you is upset or tense, see if they don’t smell, literally and figuratively.  This is mainly because the cortical or stress hormone starts to produce a fatty sweat that has the tendency to smell. As well, when the mouth gets dry from stress and tension it produces halitosis.  Which as you learned in #1, are the greatest human turn-off.  So don’t be late, be liked.

Exude Confidence:

To exude confidence is to look and feel comfortable with yourself.  This is demonstrated more in a person who:

• Stands up or sits straight and tall, 
• With shoulders rolled back, 
• Head erected in confidence, and 
• Has a pleasant countenance – a soft and relaxed face 
• It says, I am aware of my surroundings, and I am aware that I am present. 

This kind of posture speaks volume and sends a clear and powerful message.  It says, hey you, look at me, I am here, and I know what this is about—it exudes confidence. People like confident people.  They just naturally gravitate to them.  They automatically seem intelligent.  So do yourself a favor and send that message out to the world. Attract smart confident people into your life. So go on! Show off your good posture and warm expressions—you look good, you smell good, you are on time, and you know it—what’s not to like?!

Speak Up:

Now comes the tough part or the real trigger.  So you say you are all of that, now it’s time for you to prove it.  You’ve come a long way—you’ve walked the walk. Can you talk the talk? Sure you can. If you have something to say, say it.  Don’t be shy, you have come too far; and they already like you so far, so keep up the good work. When it comes time to speak:

• Have a drink of water 
• Have a breath mint. It’s ok. People would rather you speak with a mint in your mouth than with bad breath. 
• Use a clear, audible voice – being mindful of your tone and tempo

Just remember that if people have to strain to hear or understand what you are saying they will tune you out.

Introduce Yourself

Now that you have your presentation skills down-pact, it’s time to make your move.  I am a strong believer that if you want to meet somebody, and no one will introduce you, get up and do it yourself.  People will like you and admire your courage—at least the recipient will. It shows chutzpah! This is a good time to have your elevator pitch memorized. A simple:

• Hi! (if you know there name use it) I am so and so, 
• A (title of what you do) 
• and a simple interjectory of how you know them, such as, (I really admire your work and have been dying to meet you; or I have heard a lot about you…), 
• and Be prepared to be engaged in a conversation 
• Don’t forget to ask for a business card for follow up and give them yours (even if it’s one you made on your home computer)

Don’t under any circumstances ask for favors; except maybe for their autograph, and if the circumstance dictates, maybe a photograph with the two of you together. By the end of the event or function, everybody that you wanted to meet, you should have met and exchanged business cards with. Mission accomplished…social butterfly!

Tune In/Listen:

The sixth and final and probably the most important way to get people to like you is to pay attention to them.  Remember, most people love themselves and like to feel like the center of attention.  The person who learns this rule early on in life is a blessed person. This person makes you feel like you are the most important person in the world every time you talk to them. They remembered your name, they remembered minor details you shared the last time you spoke.  These are a few of the charismatic qualities of a well-liked person.  Try to mimic this behavior and incorporate them into your daily running ins with people. So you want to:

• Show a genuine interest in people – people can smell a fake from a mile yard 
• Use their name as often as possible with ease 
• Listen more than you speak 
• Keep the conversation updeat and two-way by sharing a bit about yourself so they too get to know you, lean in, laugh, nod, make eye contact, touch (if comfort dictates)

In summary, everybody wants to be liked period, unless you are a savage or something else.  The bible tells us in Matthew 22:39 to “Love your Neighbor as yourself”.  Yet despite that, a lot of us go through life feeling despised and rejected—not liked or wanted, or even as if not existed.  So let us make the change in ourselves first to start feeling like we belong.  So again, here are the six ways to be instantly liked by others:

1. Self-Esteem – love yourself and take care and pride of and in yourself. You love yourself too much to let anyone take liberty with you 
2. Time Management – prepare yourself overnight and Get-up early to make a great start 
3. Exude Confidence – posture and facial expression speaks volume 
4. Speak Up – Say what you need to say and say what you mean – Use clear, audible voice. Too loud is offensive. Too soft is irritating 
5. Introduce Yourself – If you see something you want go after it—Don’t wait for somebody to do it for you. Take charge. Take the lead. Meet and greet! 
6. Tune In/Listen Up – Be great…Be a star and exercise your charisma. Remember the person you are talking to at any given time is the most important person in the world!

If people still don't like you after all of this, then it's there lost.  Move on and forget about them.  Go get liked…good luck!

References:

• The Bible: Matthew 22:39 
• http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/sweating-and-body-odor/DS00305/DSECTION=causes
• Dale Carnegie: How to Win Friends and Influence People, book, from 1936 
• Personal experiences and other observations